Rivalries

The bit

Dallas CowsayDylan B. · 3-3 · 124.2 ppgvsPacker CaptureHunter W. · 4-2 · 138.2 ppg

Dylan B. named a team like a typo and Hunter W. has been personally offended ever since. Dallas Cowsay is the joke that learned a roster. Packer Capture is the joke that showed up with a points total. One of them thinks this is comedy. The other thinks comedy is what you call a loss.

The error

Null PointersZac C. · 6-0 · 127.7 ppgvsTiger Wish-He-CouldKevin C. · 5-1 · 134.5 ppg

Zac C. returns everybody else's week as an error. Kevin C. names the wish out loud and then scores anyway. The Null Pointers treat a loss like a bug report. Tiger Wish-He-Could was not supposed to be this loud. Nobody can find the first argument. The working theory is they were rivals before the draft.

The fort

Gridiron GarrisonJesse Y. · 3-3 · 131.2 ppgvsPhishing for TouchdownsRyan J. · 2-4 · 118.8 ppg

Jesse Y. plays like the Garrison has a wall and a password. Ryan J. plays like the password is the whole sport. One side wants a clean win and a quiet group chat. The other side wants Jesse to click the link.

The outage

Runtime RavensPrince S. · 1-5 · 107.6 ppgvsBotnet BlitzBernie S. · 1-5 · 107.3 ppg

Prince S. tells this one as a bird story. Bernie S. tells it as a software outage that happened to wear a logo. They already know the shape of the fight, and neither manager has agreed on the moral. The next one is just the patch notes. They already played in Week 2: Runtime Ravens 125.7, Botnet Blitz 96.2.

The crash

Segmentation FaultSory K. · 3-3 · 125.8 ppgvsAngry Birds ExpertNick K. · 2-4 · 116.1 ppg

Sory K. treats a win like a normal Tuesday. Nick K. treats the same win like an origin story. Segmentation Fault is the crash. Angry Birds is the person still yelling at it. Nick has been writing the sequel in the group chat. Sory has not read it. They already played in Week 2: Segmentation Fault 129.9, Angry Birds Expert 103.9.